There are only eight days left to enjoy all that the State Fair of Texas has to offer. Here is your itinerary:
- Big Tex
First things first: you have traveled all this way. Maybe you just waited 3 hours in traffic, ’cause you came from Denton or DeSoto. Maybe you traveled across state lines. The most logical thing to do once you have FINALLY passed the gates is to pay homage to Our State Fair Overlord, Big Tex. Notice his snappy western outfit sponsored by Dickies and his sweet new boots. Take a selfie, if you can find a decent angle. (There will be 11 thousand people blocking your shot, so… shoot crotch up.)
- Fletcher’s
There are about a hundred stands within the fair where you can buy Fletcher’s legendary corny dogs, but the stand right at the feet of Big Tex is my favorite. Fletcher’s offers five varieties of dawgs: The Original, Jalapeño & Cheese, The Bird Dog, The Veggie, and The Cheezy Pup. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking up one of each.
Just consider it a five course meal. There is a hot debate in Dallas regarding which condiment is best to add to a Fletcher’s Corny Dog: mustard or ketchup. Records show that, in a typical Fair season, Fletcher’s goes through approximately 1,500 gallons of mustard and 800 gallons of ketchup. I feel this data speaks for itself. #TeamMustard
Are you Team Mustard or Team Ketchup?
- Mattresses
By this point, you should be fully exhausted from making the long trek from wherever the hell you were finally able to park to Corny Dog Heaven. If you’re like me, it is at this point that a nice rest will be welcome. Head into the shopping pavilion nearby, and jump onto one of the many comfy mattresses available to try. The mattress salesmen are very well-trained and may have magical selling powers, so be prepared to tell them “I’m just laying.” They have been doing this a while. They’ll get it.
- All of Us Old Plantation Soups and Dips
Ask any regular State Fair of Texas attendee and they will ALL tell you that the All of Us Old Plantation Soups and Dips booth is 100% DO NOT MISS. This place has everything:
Savory dips, creamy and brothy soups, and perfectly salty pretzels in repurposed water bottles available for your dipping pleasure.
Every year I purchase AT LEAST two dips and two soups per trip. Here is the Spinach & Artichoke dip that I baked at home in my teeny iron skillet. I added 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar to the top. AND El Fenix chips. (Natch.)
- Gulf Coast Grill
If you’re still hungry after chowing down on all those corn dogs, waddle your booty over to the entrance of Swan Lake at the Lagoon. Right outside the entrance is Gulf Coast Grill. Order the Crab Bombs. I swear to God, these are among the most delicious crab cakes I have ever tasted. They have a great big ol’ jumbo shrimp stuffed into the middle of each bomb, and they serve you a mess of sweet corn fritters and homemade rémoulade on the side. They are a must-try.
- State Fair Sweet Tea
With all the walking y’all are gonna do, you are eventually going to get quite thirsty. Sure, you can hit up almost any stand and buy a forty-dollar bottle of water or a Coke, but the real State Fair of Texas Professionals know that the best turn up for beverages are the assorted iced tea stands (mostly scrambled throughout the Midway). The carafes are always clean, the ice is always perfect, and never-ending refills are only four tickets! They also have unsweetened tea for non-Texans.
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