Dear Mommy Blogger, No, Our Blogs Do Not Suck.

The first thing I want to say to you, the people who visit my “sucky” blog, and read my “boring” “internet noise”, is this: Never let the negative blithering of a part time meanie on the internet make you feel badly about your hustle. I speak from recent experience.

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Yesterday I got a text from a family member saying that they had just seen a spot on Good Morning America about a gal who has been writing a Mom Blog since 2013. 

This cute-as-a-button young lady was being featured on GMA because she had written a viral post called “Dear Mommy Blogger” stating that she was not only quitting the Mom Blog thing but was going to nuke the entire industry out of the sky with some harsh truth that I (a mom who is a blogger) needed to hear.

My friend thought I might enjoy the post and sent the text suggesting I read it.

I googled the name I was given and found the post. Go ahead and give it a read, I can wait.

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Yeah…

Those who know me well know exactly what reading a post like that would do to me. For those of you who don’t know me that well, buckle up.

I went to bed early yesterday, it had been an emotional day for various reasons. (we’ll talk later) I had been crying off and on all day and was a total hot mess of a basket case by 8pm.

I usually check the social media circus, email and the blog traffic before I shut my phone down for the night. Last night I figured: I’ll read that mom blog post right quick before the next Friends episode comes on.

The whole time I was reading his post I’m thinking:

Ok, sooo when do we get to the part where the author explains that this isn’t meant towards every mom blogger out there? Where is the clever and redeeming advice that I can follow to avoid her fate? 

It never came. And I didn’t watch Friends when it came on. I turned off the TV, laid my head on my pillow and cried my eyes out.

My internal dialogue went a little something like this:

This author has been at this a lot longer than me and what the hell do I know anyway? 

I dig writing and all but this ain’t a labor of love for the written word for me. I’m not trying to fill any emotional holes. I started this blog as a business. I am a sole proprietor, hustling to make money for my little girls college. 

She said that if you started the blog specifically to make money you are basically doomed and also, are the absolute worst.

 I watch my analytics. People are clicking. Why would they click if they aren’t reading? Are they reading a few words and moving on? Are they laughing at me? I’m so humiliated.

Oh my god has this all been worthless? All this work for months for nothing?

I’m still sick, if I don’t do the blog then what the hell CAN I do? 

I guess it’s time to cut my losses. Maybe I’m just meant to focus on my health for a while and get a regular job when I’m better.

The blog really IS exhausting. Shouldn’t take long to pull down the site and delete the social media. I’ll do it tomorrow.

Then I had stressful nightmarish dreams all night long. 

Dreams where I was trying to get from point A to point B by clawing at the ground on my belly, barely able to use my legs. I could feel the vines of grass ripping out of the ground as I tried to use them to pull me closer to some unknown destination. As I struggled I prayed. And cried.

Then I woke up. After a brief recovery period from the stress dreams, I got out of bed.

I went to the kitchen and took my heart pill, my thyroid pill and the fish oil I take to avoid getting gout from all the rich food I eat.

After taking the fish oil pill I remembered that I should be getting my press credentials in the mail today for Taste of Dallas, It’s gonna be a rager.

Dang, I really wanted to go to that. Jed and I have so much fun at these events, they’re like free little dates that also give me fuel for the business. It’s win, win. Oh well.

Then I checked my email.

I had to turn down an affiliate offer for a product I really wanted to endorse because they wanted me to use some of the most ridiculous language in the post you’ve ever heard. Like they wanted me to say that their product was “Thick and Hearty”.

I would literally never use that phrase. The forty bucks would’ve been nice but the best thing about being in business for yourself is that you get to decide where all of your lines are drawn.

When I started this thing I set some basic parameters, a list of things I would and wouldn’t do.

• I will only endorse products that I have actually tried, used, tasted and liked.
• I will not pretend to be the picture perfect Martha type blogger, I can only be myself.
• If I don’t like something, I probably just wont write about it. I’m not into being unnecessarily negative.
• I won’t hunt down a deal. I’ll tell you what I’m about and how I can promote your thing. If you’re in, awesome. If not, that’s ok too. I’m done with high pressure sales.

I took a quick reassessment of my sucky little blogging business and felt like such an idiot, but a different idiot from the idiot I was last night.

Ok wait a minute. Is there a chance that I might be the biggest drama queen on the planet and spent hours torturing myself for nothing?

Tee hee. Whoopsie!

Blogging has been one of the funniest and most fulfilling things I’ve done in my entire career. 

Not only am I getting clicks, but my analytics show that people are clicking through to other posts in the site and spending good time there.

They’re not just clicking, they ARE reading “my shit.” Bad grammar and all.

I get at least 5 tweets or DM’s a week from folks who are new to or visiting Dallas and are looking for a restaurant recommendation from me. When they go, THEY take pics of their plate and send it to me.

These folks are people I actually consider friends. (Love ya, Twitter people! <–exclamation point used to imply excitement at saying Hi to my friends.)

I have met some of the most awesome people in history because of this blog from other bloggers, to Tech support guys, to WordPress experts to Real Housewives of Dallas fans to the dude that owns the bar I ate at last week.

Now, have I ever come across a blog that seems to be written FOR bloggers ABOUT blogging?

Yes, I have.

Actually I was lucky enough to stumble upon The Nectar Collective MelyssaGriffin.com very early on and Praise God I did.

I knew nothing about blogging when I started and through that helpful site I get tips on social sharing to grow your audience as well as WordPress hacks, necessary lists and SEO tips. That site was (and still is) invaluable to me. Should SHE quit? God I hope not.

So here’s why I wrote this post:

Believe it or not, I think the author had some valid insights into the seedy underbelly of blogging and the whole Affiliate Marketing industry, unfortunately those insights were delivered in a way that not only highlights the authors own missteps and failings but takes us down with her. It’s the only way the post would have ever gone unintentionally viral.

 

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So now I’m going to try to redeliver this insight and also, share some good news with you:

1. Her blog might suck, but yours doesn’t, or at least it doesn’t have to. 

No one should have to whore themselves out on the internet to hock camping equipment.

Read the fine print on affiliate offers. A quick forty bucks is always nice but if you have to pretend to be something you’re not, is it worth it? 

I’m thinkin’ no.

Don’t endorse something you don’t enjoy.

     2. Don’t buy followers. You don’t need to.

Slow and steady is the way to grow on social media. Brands and affiliate networks are typically just as interested in engagement as they are in follower numbers. (and if they aren’t, they should be.)

That high number might look spiffy right next to your name and bio but if you have 10k followers yet typically only get 0-14 likes or comments, that’s a red flag right off the bat that your not being honest with PR agencies or yourself.

You can put boots in the oven but it don’t make em biscuits.

You want well engaged, commenting, liking, and sharing followers. Which brings me to another point that was dead on in the original post:

3. None of us are perfect. Being 100% authentic is the key to success in blogging.

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For example, let’s say I took the “Thick and Hearty” post opportunity.

Based on the way I write in the post you’re now reading, how seriously would you take me if I wrote something like…

“The sauce is so thick and hearty, that’s what homestyle means to MY family.” 

VS

“Ohmygad u guys I just found a new sauce and it’s as good as anything I’ve ever spent 3 hours making. Soooo yum.”

Which one sounds more like me? Which one sounds like a more sincere endorsement? 

I’m not a writer.

I’m not Martha Stewart, I’m not Joanna Gaines, I’m not The Pioneer woman.

These chicks are awesome. They are total badasses at their craft and people like them because they are being 100% who THEY are.

For God’s sake, Martha just looks at a glue gun and magic happens.

That’s not me. Martha’s words would sound ridiculous coming from me.

Martha literally never uses the word literally.

 

 

The most important thing is that you keep doing you.

Don’t be like me and immediately absorb someones narrow minded opinions of what you should be doing and let it tear you apart.

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In my career, I’ve had a dozen different jobs and I can tell you that the blogging community is the most fun, accepting, helpful, positive industry I’ve ever been in. 

If you like to travel, travel.

If you like to eat, eat.

If you’re good at the parenting thing, share your skillz.

Be your authentic self (all hail, Oprah.) and the right people will gravitate towards you. If they unfollow you, who cares? They aren’t your people.

Find your people. Be true to yourself. Hone your craft. Ignore the noise.

We can totally do this.

DONT. QUIT.

xoxox